For your edification...

The Management presents a short list of some actual place names in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, chosen for their propensity to sound rude when said with extra emphasis. As in
"I say, Nigel, you wouldn't happen to know where Bertram is, old sport?"
"I expect Bertie's down Wapping Old Stairs, if you catch my meaning, old bean."
"So soon? I'd heard he was on holiday, taking a turn up Ashby De La Zouch."

And so on. Try it at home with the following places:

• Slough
• Looe
• Bude
  
• Foulness Point (on Foulness Island)
• Pontypool
• Rutland
  
• Dorking
• Cockfosters

A few thoughts inspired by Shrove Tuesday

Yesterday was "Shrove Tuesday," which is for some reason referred to as "Pancake day" here.
That reason being that people here celebrate the last day before lent by eating crepes, which are for some reason referred to as "pancakes" here.

I hear that people are supposed to eat crepes as way of celebrating their last day before they give stuff up in honor of that Jesus dude giving stuff up. Now, what makes me wonder is this: supposedly there was a sacrifice made on behalf of all mankind, right? That one was supposed to wipe the slate clean for everybody. So why would people want to voluntarily engage in low-level sacrifice after something like that? It almost seems like someone preparing a huge feast for a wedding reception, but then all the guests bringing a combo meal from McDonalds so they won't be hungry.

Also the idea of being like a lamb really doesn't sit well with me. I mean, apart from wolves, coyotes, raptor-type birds, lynxes, cougars and mountain lions, the biggest threat to most lambs is that guy who shaves them, slaughters them and eats them. What's his name again? Oh yeah, the shepherd.

Children are some sort of future...

UK kids: Sucks to be you

Ha ha HAH HAH HAH hah a ha haa ahhh. When I think about the little fuckers on the bus who wouldn't stop howling and climbing on the rails, or the ones crying in the aisles of the supermarkets, or the ones with nothing better to do than sit around in front of Burger King trying to cadge cigarettes from passers-by, and then I see a story like this one, I just want to laugh and laugh and laugh.*

Choke on it, you little bastards.

* The author is well aware that the UNICEF study cites the probable causes of such behaviors, and not the punishments. The author is also aware that the fiery wheel of karma turns in unknowable ways.

What was the old slogan for the US Marines?

When I first started this MA course, there were about 18 students in my group. By the winter break we were down to 15. By the first week of February, usual classroom attendance for the morning session is hovering around 10 or 11. But the biggest loss is in the afternoon. Even allowing that the three part-time students aren't going, the fact that we're down to five people is a little worrisome. So far only two people have claimed a "death in the family" excuse for an absence. Most of the others have just said "screw it" and stopped going. 1

So far the lady running the class has kept showing up, but last week she actually called one of the five of us out into the hall for a brief scolding. I don't know if we can sustain another 20% drop in attendance and still be able to have meaningful discussions.

Oh, wait. We don't really have meaningful discussions in that class. Maybe that whole allusion to "the few, the proud" doesn't really work here.

1 Well, what they actually said was "sod it", but I didn't know if that would translate so well for those of you who don't speak Englandish.