01 February 2004

Did I Mention Underwear Again?




I've been meaning to write for a while, but things have been really freaking busy. And I don't mean to use "freaking" as a nice euphemism for "fucking." I mean things have been busy in a way that caused previously abnormal behavior to appear normal, acceptable and even desirable. By way of example, let me explain something about my night job...
In order to increase "international competitiveness" (or maybe just to hand out a little pork-barrel largesse), the Japanese government subsidizes the fees for certain kinds of English language classes. If a school has a certain certification, presumably of the qualifications to teach people the kind of English that would enable them to do something other than just watch English movies (the second most common reason given when asked "why do you study English?"), then some of their students can receive partial refunds of something like 60% of their tuitions. Seeing as how the average English Conversation School can demand a $150 "membership fee" that'll get you the privilege to have them sell you their textbooks (at around $200 a pop) and charge you their class fees (to be in a four to eight person class for 50 minutes? Try $75 plus tax and up), you quickly get the sense that some kind of rebate starts to look like a pretty good idea.


So, if a school can qualify for this certification, they can attract a whole bunch of business-types who otherwise would never bother coughing up a whole pile of dough to learn to speak a language most of them won't get a chance to practice outside of class anyway.

(Honestly, apart from the relative few who have to work in foreign-owned companies, most of these students are either using written English for e-mail and faxes or else are trying to prepare for an overseas vacation in a couple of months. Despite 6 to 10 years of English lessons in school, these folks aren't able to speak English well because they don't have to use it. Ever.)

Now, in order to qualify for this rebate, the students have to do a little something too. First off, they have to be ostensibly be working. Beyond that, they oughta have a job that needs english. Like a secretary at a company that sells car parts overseas. Or a researcher at a foreign-owned pharmaceutical company. Or a fireman.

Yeah, I didn't get that one either.

Anyway, once these students are all qualified, they have to complete their textbook within 10 months of their starting the class. Why 10 months? I have no idea. And what if they don't attend more than 80% of their classes within 10 months? What if they're not smart enough to finish in 10 months?

Zanen desu kedo, shikata ga nai.

Which brings us back to my job. Because I work in a place that claims to offer more flexible lessons, students can try book a class anytime they feel like coming in, and then the manager will try to move teachers in to meet those times with the highest demands.

Honestly, would you have imagined that so many of the hardworking, industrious, punctual Japanese would have put off so many of their lessons until the last three weeks before the rebate deadline?

Yeah, I wouldn't have thought so either, but there it is. If you're already working a 11+ hour day, with a 40 to 90 minute commute each way, it's pretty easy to let that twice-weekly lesson slide for two or three or fifteen weeks. So now the managers at my school are asking all teachers to work as many extra shifts as possible to help ensure that all these people will be able to get their classes finished, qualify for their refunds, and enable the school to keep it's certification so they can keep offering the rebate-type classes.

So, uh, yeah. I've been really busy. For the last couple weeks it's seemed normal to say "Yes, I usually don't work on Saturday afternoon. No, just the afternoon." It's not been unusual to see the same teachers and the same students for four consecutive days, and each time to have to ask "So, how are you? What have you been doing lately?" It's been acceptable to wash and hang up clothes at 12:15 AM because you're not going to be home between 6:45 and 11:50 for the next five days and you're wearing that 2nd to last pair of shorts that mean it's time to do laundry.

Man. I'm tired.