Tomorrow I will try to slip back into my hometown unnoticed for 3 days of catching up with family and friends, eating some god damnned real New Mexican food, and trying to avoid a lethal cocktail of jet-lag, reverse culture shock and poisonous levels of high-school reminiscing.

"Sounds dangerous. I recommend a strict regimen of the cheapest beer imaginable and one viewing of the Matrix Reloaded."
"Drunk or sober?"
"That's a foolish question, young man. It's my medical opinion that you stay drunk for the next 80 hours."
"You're a sick sonuvabitch, Doctor. I'm glad I came to you."