Taxing, Crabby Confessions III

In the last week I met, face to face, two different people after finding out they'd been reading this. One lives in America, one in Japan. One I'd never met before, one I'd known for a while. Suddenly that whole honnae/tatemae is starting to make more sense from a first hand perspective.

Usually, I try to write this like I was either transcribing an internal monologue or telling a story over a drink in my favorite bar. You know, that one bar where I feel really comfortable because I don't have to worry about acting cool to pick up girls because everyone is just there to relax. But generally here the only major concession I'm making to public appearance here is tone down my raving anti-Presbyterian sentiments to avoid charges of religious discrimination. Lousy Council of Presbie Elders... they'll only be able to keep controlling international grain export markets as long as decent citizens like you and me willingly blind ourselves to their sinister plans. It's always been about the bread, dammit...

...Anyway, the point I really wanted to make was that perhaps my carefully orchestrated, teflon-coated internet persona has been breached again. Maybe there's a whole bunch of people running around who've read this and having a good chuckle thinking that they know what I think, and they think I don't know that they know. You know?

So, in the spirit of the new year and new beginnings, I'm going to embrace a new policy of openness and honesty. I'm just going to lay all my cards on the table and tell you all my deepest thoughts and feelings.

The following people can cram it with walnuts:
My manager, Joe
Tokyo Mitsubishi Bank
The Owner of that Damn Rooster next door
The Inventor of the McRib
The Editors of Japanese for Busy People
Dick Cheney
The re-writers of Robocop 3
John Ashcroft
The re-writers of the Daredevil movie
Celine Dion
Whoever made Japanese girls think cute-ness is more important than anything else
Tony Blair (for having no stones)
The re-writers of the Hulk movie
The people who keep reality-TV shows on with their vacuous, sheep-like support
Henry Kissinger
The re-writers of Batman and Robin and Batman Forever

Wow. I sure feel better. It's like a big weight has been lifted off of my chest knowing I don't have to keep all that secret anymore. 'Cause really, that's everything that I've been holding back. Really.