What the hell kind of godless monsquitoes would bite a man on the palm? I thought the assault on my eyelid was bad, and I was right pissed when they put a big-ass welt on my forehead, but now they've gone too far. You can deal with itchiness as long as you don't touch it, right? How do you not touch with your hands?

I'll be enacting a new policy of restricting the borders (closing my windows, no matter how hot it gets), making the atmosphere inhospitable (burning a bunch of those "no-bug" incense coils) and poisoning their food supply (drinking nothing but gin and eating nothing but kimchi). We'll see who has the last laugh here. (Given that I'll have to be drinking gin for breakfast and eating garlicky, pickled Korean cabbage, I'll probably have to be laughing, no matter what happens.)