Surely you're joking.

A website devoted to right-wing and conservative views on science fiction? Yep. Just in case you needed politically motivated commentary on Spider-Man meeting Obama, why the outrage over a Barbie doll dressed as a superhero is misplaced, or the lazy-liberal thinking implicit in a trailer for an animated sci-fi movie.

A video documentary about the branch of Germany's far-right, racially xenophobic political movement that idolizes Adolf Hitler and is also proudly homosexual? Honestly, 8 minutes into the first section, and I can already say I've seen a gay Nazi marketing manager and a traditional Oi-skinhead talking about how someone who had to jerk off when they saw his NPD membership card.

Escapees from the Android's Dungeon listening to Bill O'Reilly and skinheads getting down with man-love before going to a racial-intolerance rally? Mankind's family tree bears some goddamn weird fruit.

And don't call me Shirley.

Friday night?

Let's see, I'm drinking beer and reading comics. It could just as easily be 2009 as 1999. Ten year timewarp? Do your worst.

"Oh, that's what you meant" dept.

Usually, BBC news is pretty good about giving me the info I need. But this link here kind of threw me. I mean, I can guess that it's explaining where in the UK suffers from the highest levels of child poverty.

But honestly, my first thought was that it was some sort of travel guide, like, where to go to find the best child poverty, or the most picturesque children with smudgy faces, no shoes, and brave, hopeful smiles.

Is there something wrong with me for thinking that, or is is something wrong with where and how I live for not making that idea immediately implausible?

Again with the maps...

Because it was easier than getting to work, I spent a few minutes trying to come up with possible aliases using my Michelin map of Great Britain and Ireland, with the provision that the names of places be more or less proximate to each other, and that they appeared in given-name-then-surname order. So if you need to fill in an online form or to make up a porn star name or something, free to try one of these:

Matlock Derby
Sandy Potton
Clare Sudbury
Brandon Thetford
Corby Weldon
Ramsey Huntingdon
Nelson Burnley

At this moment...

I'm supposed to be writing an essay that counts for something like 30% of my degree. The subject on which I'm supposed to elaborate are the techniques by which autobiographical events and information are transformed into fiction.

Given that a majority of my childhood and young adult memories are to do with fictional people, imaginary events, and highly implausible premises, I imagined this would've been easier. Turns out it doesn't exactly work both ways.

For your edification...

The Management presents a short list of some actual place names in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, chosen for their propensity to sound rude when said with extra emphasis. As in
"I say, Nigel, you wouldn't happen to know where Bertram is, old sport?"
"I expect Bertie's down Wapping Old Stairs, if you catch my meaning, old bean."
"So soon? I'd heard he was on holiday, taking a turn up Ashby De La Zouch."

And so on. Try it at home with the following places:

• Slough
• Looe
• Bude
  
• Foulness Point (on Foulness Island)
• Pontypool
• Rutland
  
• Dorking
• Cockfosters