A while ago, a few months before I was supposed to leave Japan, maybe, a thought occurred to me. Something about preparing to go, preparing to end the business of the second (third?) life I had tried to put together was not dissimilar to preparing to end that life, or at least that way of life. All the things that were supposed to be important, and the things that truly had become important to me, were not actually important enough to maintain. I would leave and everything around my old life would continue. just without me.
I did leave, and everything did continue without me.
It was kind of like getting dumped twice at once, but I was getting dumped from my own life, by my own life, as a result of my own choices.
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