Maybe everyone else said it, but this time it's still true.

I didn't think it'd matter so much, but I am actually relieved that Obama has been sworn in. Bush being president really bothered me more than I realized.

The last resort of a scoundrel

Patriotism generally strikes me as pretty fucking thoughtless. Even if, for argument's sake, you hold dual Chinese-Indian citizenship and feel equally patriotic towards both countries, that still means that 3.5 billion other people think they live somewhere that might be more worthy of pride, admiration, or whatever it is that patriotism is supposed to make you feel.

There's nothing wrong with loving an ideal, and many nations claim to actively strive towards one ideal or another. But there are definite differences between ideals, nations and the organizations or individuals that represent, occupy or govern them. And it's that mistaken connection of those things that makes patriotism so offensive.

But I didn't realize how much I was connecting the actions and ideals of one particular government with one particular nation. Yeah, 2000 was a mistake combined with the ballsiest power grab America had seen since, well, the American Revolution. Were the actions of the founding fathers in 1776 essentially treasonous? Well, they were trying to overthrow the legitimate government of the time and seize power, so under the laws of the day, yeah, criminal. Were the actions of Bush and co. in 2000 an attempt to seize power not given by the legitimate government of the day? Constitutional law is not my strong suit, so I'll leave that to someone else.

2004, on the other hand, was largely legitimate in the view of the public. Which meant that, given the choice, America still opted to stay with Bush. That was depressing to me for a number of reasons. But what I didn't really understand until now was this: at many times, the government of the US has done, ordered, encouraged or allowed some truly heinous shit, but in general there has been movement towards making things better, things that looked like progress. But in the face of unquestionable bad judgment, it looked like people chose not to change, not to improve, but to make things worse. My belief that the agents of government, the people in general and the nation as an entity were separable was shaken. Honestly, who wants to admit that they come from a land of unthinking, self-destructive, atavistic stereotypes?

So, you re-elected Bush, huh? What were you thinking?

On a more basic level, I resented having to explain my country to anyone who gave a damn about politics. Did I know what he was responsible for? Didn't people in the USA know? Did I know how people in other countries felt? Didn't other people in the USA know? How did you (singular or collective?) let him stay in office?

I don't know that it put a chip on my shoulder, but there's only so many times I could say, "Y'know, man, I just have no idea what happened" before it started to get to me. The only conclusion I could reach was that, as a nation, the US was either too scared, too stupid, or some combination of both to be able to change things in 2004. The people of the US, my home, for whatever reason, chose to vote for sloth, venality, greed, cruelty and stupidity in 2004.

A high hope for a low heaven

Was the Obama victory an overwhelming refutation of the last eight years? Not really. Was Obama the best choice? Was he the best choice of a bad lot? That shouldn't take anything away from him, but maybe that was part of it. There are a lot of things that remind me how much needs to change, and how many ways there are for a lot of people to be disappointed.

But, for a change, there are a lot of things that came out of this election that give me reason to be proud: proud of my country, the people living there, even of the potential of the government. Are there reasons to dismiss this feeling. Yeah, sure. But it all depends on your frame of reference. Get too close or too far away and it's hard to work out what still has meaning or value.

Things can change. Things can get better.