Corporate incoherence

I've been doing a little freelance transcription work lately. That means I get sent a piece of video and then I write down everything that gets said in the video, and the time that someone says it. Then the script I've made gets sent to an office in Tokyo where it's translated into Japanese so that the video can be subtitled.

I'm sure that anyone who took that class for screen writing who remembers the exercise on real-life dialogue will back me up on this, but most people rarely speak in complete sentences. "So, like, when it's, yeah, like what they were saying when that happened, but, not like, yeah?" is pretty common in the European Tour behind-the-scenes videos I get sent. But even the corporate videos may be worse. Take this gem:

There’s still some variability, both in approach and in the caliber of people, to improving consistency would be a real boon, to Schmucktronics.

Except for the company name, that was all verbatim. And it came from an upper-echelon executive. This clown probably has an MBA, but he can't string a sentence together that actually means anything.

What really kills me is that these executive welcome videos are almost identical, in terms of theme and content, to the video I was shown when I started at KFC in high school. Exact same rah-rah bullshit, only instead of power ties everyone was wearing matching polyester polo shirts and pin-on name tags.